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 Life lessons at 30,000 feet? It can happen!
By: Marsha Mayefsky
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I’m always on edge when I fly and this trip was no exception. My husband and I were returning from a three day get-away and I began to feel that all too familiar sense of dread. I began to long for those days in my youth when I thought flying was glamorous and exciting. Unfortunately, airplane travel for me, especially without my kids, has become terrifying! I glanced over at my sleeping husband and wondered why I, who can fall asleep at the movies, in the car pool line, and even in the middle of a conversation cannot fall asleep on a plane. I was just beginning to relax a little when the captain turned on the “fasten your seatbelt” sign. He told us we would be encountering some bumpy air and that he would turn off the light as soon as we were sailing smoothly once again. I reminded myself to breathe and to stay calm while I shot daggers at my sleeping husband. I decided to try to distract myself by thinking about everything I had to do when I got home (assuming we got home!).
My oldest daughter Laura came to mind as I really had to begin packing her up for her year in Israel. At that point, I had 10 short weeks until fall. I kept assuring her that I had it all under control and that we had plenty of time. In my panic, I began to wonder if that was true. I began to ask myself a lot of questions – questions I imagine all parents ask themselves as they prepare to send their first child away from home... Where did the time go? Wasn’t I just 18? How is it possible that my child is an adult? Did my parents feel this way? The most pressing question I had was: Have I prepared Laura to leave home? Is she armed with enough knowledge and independence to be sent out into the world on her own? (Of course on her own means with our credit card and the likelihood that we will talk twice a day.)
I have been giving Laura “life-lessons” since before she could talk. I usually – okay, always – think I am being profound and generally she rolls her eyes at me – but that’s okay because I know that some of these wise words of advice sink in. My lessons range from getting along with peers, to being a good student, to the gift of family. (I admit that convincing my daughters that their three sisters are precious gifts from G-d is challenging!) My favorite life-lesson and probably my most successful one was on the art of shopping. Laura stood up at her bat mitzvah and told two hundred people that the most important thing that her mother ever taught her was that “there is always a second mark-down.” I’m not going to lie – it was a proud moment for me. I knew that at least she was listening to me. Now six years later, I’m concerned that she may encounter more challenging problems than navigating the Macy’s anniversary sale! So, I started doing a mental inventory of what we still had to discuss and what lessons still needed to be learned. Just then, the plane gave a nice shimmy and shake and the next life-lesson came to me: Sometimes life is bumpy. A new discovery? No, but maybe for a young girl whose mother has spent most of her time smoothing over all of life’s bumps, it is. Sometimes life moves along smoothly and suddenly you hit a bump and you have to fasten your seatbelt for a while and ride out the bumps until you are sailing smoothly once again. While there is no turbulence, it is equally important to enjoy the ride and not nervously await the turbulence to begin. Translation to Laura: Enjoy your life and all of G-d’s blessings. Be prepared for the “bumps,” but do not live your life in anticipation of them. Nothing goes smoothly all the time. There will always be a little turbulence in our lives and sometimes there will be a lot. We have to then fasten our seatbelts, do what needs to be done, and then move on when we are sailing smoothly once again. We’re flying to New York for a wedding next week. Any chance I’ll take my own advice? Even if I don’t, I certainly hope my children will.
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