, with slightly less than 10%, as Israel's largest city, has, in absolute numbers, the largest elderly population in the country.
According to the municipality, there are an estimated 68,000 residents over 60 in the capital. Both the haredi and Arab sectors, because of high birthrates, have smaller percentages of elderly.
"Some of the cases we see involve ongoing abuse - such as the elderly man who murdered his wife in the Malha mall a few months ago," Stollman relates. "That couple has a long history of abuse. But there are also cases of normal families who crack under extreme duress."
Stollman relates the case of a husband and wife who had planned a trip around the world when he retired. But before they could realize their dream, the husband had a stroke. He was left physically dependent and in a wheelchair. The wife was in shock and, as her husband's sole caregiver, under tremendous stress.
Neighbors called social services to report loud screaming. Upon investigation, it was found that she was telling him that he had ruined her life and if he didn't behave she would put him in a home. She was also physically abusing him.
Stollman's department stepped in - providing a part-time caregiver for the husband plus part-time enrollment in a day care center so the wife could have a respite from his care. It also arranged counseling for the wife. This enabled the husband to remain at home and the wife to better care for him.
"It is important to be aware that abuse can happen even in normal families when under terrible stress," she goes on. "The public must be aware of this and aware that there is help for such families."
Some of the abuse is financial. "We had one man forced to give power-of-attorney to his son after he threatened never to let the old man see the grandchildren if he didn't," Stollman notes.
"Another man was told he had to make his son the beneficiary of his estate or he would be put in a home. We've seen a number of cases where children have forced parents to take out loans and give them the money. Then, they don't repay the money and the parents have to sell their assets to cover the loan."
With respect to neglect, Stollman says that it can range from deliberately withholding food, medicine or care, to simply not being aware of the elderly person's needs. "We have seen elderly living in apartments with no heating or with no money for food or medication because their children are not aware of the situation or do not know where to go for help."
"Abuse can take many forms," says Nathan Lavon, founder and chair of Ken Lezaken, a Jerusalem-based, independent advocacy group for the elderly. "It can be as simple as pulling the plug out for the TV in the case of an elderly person who is unable to get up and plug it in again. Much of it involves paternalistic attitudes toward the elderly, and sometimes the abuser is not even aware."
Lavon cites a case where a woman was sick and her husband was in the early stages of dementia. Their daughter decided they should move to an apartment closer to her own. She bought, renovated and furnished a place without ever asking them or making them a part of the process.
"This couple did not want to move," Lavon says. "And for the husband, this might be the worst thing. Their daughter has the best of intentions but if she had any awareness of their feelings and situation, she would never have done this without talking to them first."
